Tony Allen Secret Agent World Circuit 2009.

ponedjeljak, 15. lipnja 2009

Tony Allen, bubnjar i košarkaš prošlogodišnjih NBA prvaka Boston Celticsa, biće koje podjednako egzistira na glazbenoj i sportskoj razini, utjelovljenje je atlete i umjetnika u jednom, pristao je na intervju za koji prenosimo u cjelosti.

Pot lista: Hi Tony, thanks for doing this interview.

Tony Allen: No problem, man, my pleasure.

P: So, how are you spending your summer?

TA: Well, you know, thank God Celtics did not make it to the Finals so I can rest. I am chillin’ home here in Chicago, workin’ out and stuff, hangin’ out, you know, with my friends that I did not see in a while. You know. Went the other day to visit my old high school, signed some autographs and shit. Man, it’s good to be a star. They know me all over the place, my old photo hangin’ at the hallway, that is so dope.

P: You do dope?

TA (puzzled for a moment): Nope! No way. No way.

P: So, how do you feel about last season? It must have been hard returning from injury and stuff. You single-handedly murdered your team couple of times in the playoffs. How do you plan to improve next year?

TA: I feel like I peaked this season. No really, I got back from the injury and it felt good. I don’t care if I missed them layups, but I got into the crunch time rotation thanks to my coach. Hey, thanks coach for all the playin’ time you gave me.

P (while coughing): Yeah, you sucked!

TA: What was that?

P: Nothin, must be bad reception. You lost a few games for the Celtics couple of times this season yet you say you peaked? Interesting. Could you please explain it for our readers?

TA: Man, I got so much cash on my hands right now, I don’t have to care about them layups no more. That is rookie shit. I got myself a few million dollar cushion. Tony earned his retirement benjamins. No more worries. Nigga gotta cut’em checks, no white daddy gonna support my black ass.

P: Hmmm, ok if you say so. How do you feel about other basketball players releasing music and playin’ bball? Like Shaq and Ron Artest, or the late Wayman Tisdale, to name a few.

TA: That is really cool, I listened to some Shaq stuff, he can rap, the brother is for real. I wish I could do it too. That would be great.

P: But you already are doing it?

TA: Doin’ what?

P: Well, you just released a new album.

TA: Album?

P: Yeah, the one called "Secret Agent"!

TA: What are you talking about? I don’t know any secret agents!! Are you high?

P: Hell no. Are you doin dope?

TA: Nope!!

P: I wont tell your agent. Your “secret agent”.

TA: What the hell are you talkin ‘bout? What secret agent?

P: Tony Allen, Celtics basketball star and Africas finest drummer ...

TA: Drummer?

P: Fela once said that without you there would be no Afrobeat! That’s huge, man.

TA: What fella? What da fu*k u talkin ‘bout? Tony don’t like this inter-view. Wanna stop right now! Who did you say I beat? AAA, who??

P: Sorry dude, I said Afrobeat. It’s like ...

TA (interrupts impatiently): Listen, whitey, don’t dude me. Don’t dude me, okey?!?

P: Take it easy man, what is wrong?

TA: You tell me! You tell me bitch what is wrong? Callin’ me a fella, a drummer, like I am stupid or somethin’? I heard all about that drummers being stupid sheeeiiiiiiiiit. That funny to you, motherfucker? And sayin that I beat someone?

P: I said Afrobeat!

TA: The only beating I am gonna do is once I get my hands on your whitey-no-good-sunburned-russian-KGB lovin’ ass. Hell, I am bookin’ a flight to Moscow right now, bitch, you hear me.

P: It’s Croatia, not Ru....

TA: Whatever!!! I am out of here, F* you, nigga-hatin’ white boy. (hangs up)

P: Šta sad? Jebote Toni Alen i vikipedija i internet risrč. Znao sam da ne trebam pisati o nečemu o čemu nemam pojma. ŠEF će popizdit kad ovo čuje. Sheeeeiiiiiiiit. A tek kad krene podjebavanje, uf. Šta je tu je, ionako nemamo ništa za ponedjeljak, možda nekome bude i zabavno.

“Tony Allen really got me dancin.” Blur (from the single "Music is my Radar")

“Tony Allen? Perhaps the greatest drummer ever” Brian Eno